Things Mo Likes #1: Fans

Now I'm speaking for most brown people in general (esp brown people of Caribbean descent) when I say brown people enjoy dry heat. This summer in particular has been nothing but humid and wet, which I greatly dislike. The humidity has been truly unbearable, rendering my multiple showers useless. My weekends (when I haven't been spending outside with friends) have been spent with me sprawled out on my bed downing glasses of ice water and cursing my very existence. I never had central air, nor any other sort of air conditioning in my room, so all I can do is open a window, try to will a breeze to make an appearance, and become a primo mosquito treat or melt to death.

I have at last count 4 mosquito bites on my right leg, and 3 on my left.

Last summer, I bought a great fan at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and had a pretty much itch-free existence. I used it well, then put it in the hall closet so it could hibernate. Fast forward to this summer...and the fan was not anywhere to be found. Why didn't I buy another fan? Why the hell am I gonna do that when I bought a PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL fan last year?! WE ARE IN A RECESSION. And throughout the beginning of this year's rainforest-y summer in NYC, I've been suffering.

UNTIL TODAY.

I gave up searching on my own, and asked my mom, "For the love of Pete, WHERE IS MY FAN!?!" She asked me who the hell Pete was, then pointed me in the direction of the basement....where the fan has been relaxing in the box it came in next to the laundry room. Do you know how many freaking times I've passed that room, and the fan was there all along? Tricky motherfucker.

I fell up the stairs several times in the haste to get to my room to plug it in. I let my hair out of its ponytail, stood in front of that stream of cool, dust-tinged air, and shook it out like like I was in a Pantene Pro V commercial. You don't realize what happiness really is until you have a fan blasting at your face.

I wasted no time in shutting my window, shucking off all of my clothes, and spinning in front of my fan. I watched as the patina of sweat swaddling my midsection vanished, much like my heat-induced delirium, and sighed with contentment.



Originally Posted on Facebook, July 26th, 2009